Helpline 0808 800 5005 Office 0161 236 2182

I’m A Survivor

Sex, Sexuality and anything related is rarely spoken off in the Asian Community. When we sit down as a family watching TV and a scene of an intimate nature is shown we tend to look away out of embarrassment and pretend it’s not happened, silly really.

I do think child abuse is a problem within my community, the Asian Community, it has never really been highlighted in the media or discussed within the community. Until this happens it will continue to be ignored. I wrote a letter to a local religious leader telling him about my abuse and how he was in a privileged position, having a large audience at his sermons, hoping he would address Child Abuse, my letter was ignored.

Silence in the Asian Community is down to shame, embarrassment, lack of understanding & education. Ignorance is truly bliss.

After years of counseling I finally found the courage to tell my mother about the abuse. It was the hardest thing I have had to do, how & where do you start? I was in such a state I just said it, “I was sexually abused as a child”. I had everything planned in my head, what I was going to say & how she was going to react, a fantasy I suppose. I wanted her to put her arms around me and comfort me like she used to when I was a child, but that didn’t happen, how naïve. Her initial reaction was one of disbelief, that hurt. She told a close friend and she said “oh you can take a pill for that”.

My whole family know, and have been very supportive, but still they are unable to understand my state of mind – I needed to talk to other men with whom I could relate and connect with, and share experiences. Talking in the group [Survivors Manchester’s “The Safe Room”] with like minded men has been freedom just to know that you can be totally honest and not be judged, wow.

Survivors Manchester has been a real boon, listening to other Survivors and sharing our journey to understanding has helped build my confidence and am able to see myself as a Fighter, a Survivor. Thanks to Duncan and the service.

by Javed

open bury open bolton open manchester open oldham open rochdale open salford open stockport open tameside open trafford open west mercia open wigan